[轉] 17 Things Your ADHD Child Would Tell You if He Could

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注册COLON 2013-01-30, 10:42

[轉] 17 Things Your ADHD Child Would Tell You if He Could

帖子 maltz » 2017-11-06, 00:57

17 Things Your ADHD Child Would Tell You if He Could
March 25, 2017
Sarah Forbes
https://graceunderpressure.blog/2017/03 ... adhd-child

站在 ADHD (過動症) 孩子的立場,給教育者一些參考:

1) I’m trying way harder than you’ll ever know even though it doesn’t seem like it to you. I really, truly am.

2) Criticizing me or getting angry at me that my brain doesn’t work better doesn’t help me. It makes me hate myself even more.

3) I’m painfully aware of all the areas that I’m not measuring up. Instead of making a big deal about my shortcomings, try to find ways to help me.

4) An accommodation isn’t the same as enabling. If you help me where I’m genuinely struggling, I’m going to be grateful. Don’t assume that I’m manipulating you.

5) I’m not doing this to you; it’s not something I am doing on purpose.

6) If you think it’s hard to live with me, imagine trying to live inside a body that won’t do what you want it to do.

7) My brain doesn’t work right but I don’t know how to tell you that. It makes me angry and unkind, but I’m not trying to be that way.

8) When I’m being horrible, what I really need is for you to tell me you’ll love me no matter what. And maybe hug me, too. I probably believe that I’m unlovable, so prove me wrong.

9) I know that my lack of motivation is frustrating, but pushing harder doesn’t help me do better.

10) My anger and frustration is a result of my brain not processing properly. When I’m overwhelmed and freaking out, don’t escalate by freaking out or getting angry too. I need you to be calm and show me that everything’s going to be fine even when I feel like it’s not.

11) If I get overwhelmed, don’t expect me to sort out the problem all by myself. The part of my brain the controls regulation doesn’t work properly. That’s why I need your help to regulate.

12) Don’t try to break me of things that you see as weaknesses. My sensitivity as a child means I’ll be compassionate as an adult. My stubbornness as a child means I’ll be independent and assertive as an adult. Instead of squashing these characteristics, channel them toward something good that can benefit me when I’m older. Don’t view me as something that needs fixed or toughened-up.

13) Don’t be afraid of labeling me. A label gives me answers and help. If my condition is serious enough to need to be diagnosed, you can guarantee that I’ve noticed something’s wrong and I’m wondering why I’m different too. Unless you tell me what’s going on, I’m likely to grow up angry and confused about why everyone has it all together and I don’t. A label means I can get help; it gives me answers and vindication.

14) I have a real, actual medical condition in my brain. It’s just as real as if I had Type 1 Diabetes. Just like Diabetes, I need help to deal with the condition. No one tells someone with Type 1 Diabetes that they are lazy if they’re tired because their blood sugar is low. They understand that it’s part of the condition. Please, please, please learn about my condition, and don’t blame me for things that are out of my control. Just like leaving Type 1 Diabetes untreated results in serious complications and even death, untreated ADHD can lead to serious complications –potentially including death. Thankfully, there are many ways to treat ADHD (and medication isn’t the only way).

15) My frontal lobe is developing 30% behind normal. Please understand this and don’t put me in situations I’m not ready to handle. If you give me responsibility that’s beyond my developmental age, don’t be angry with me that I do poorly. That’s setting me up for failure, and that’s just cruel.

16) Stop expecting me to be normal. I can’t be. Not for all my trying. Until you accept that, I’ll always be a failure in your eyes, and I’ll always view myself as not good enough.

17) You have the power to make me miserable by how you treat me. Remember to treat me with love and grace. Treat me how you would want to be treated if you were struggling with a problem in your brain. I may make myself miserable sometimes, but don’t add to that by treating me poorly. When in doubt, be kind. Believe me, I need your kindness.

This list has been reviewed and approved by adults with ADHD.

Blessings,

Sarah Forbes

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一些想法

帖子 maltz » 2017-11-06, 01:38

(1) 這太理想化。正常人大多數時間都在偷懶、都沒有靠意志力控制自己,憑什麼 ADHD 高人一等呢。
(2) 差勁行為歸根究底是缺乏自尊與自信之下的自我放逐,是太過自信的狂妄短視,還其實是與自信無關呢?沒有人本能喜歡被批評,但每個人能接受的逆境程度也不同。這是可以訓練的。
(3) 老師可以做個(不記分)的問卷,認識到學生的自我認識。
(4) 無能者接受容忍,有能者接受權力與自由。
(5) 同 (1) ,正常人都是憑當下的本性與慣性行事。有的本性與慣性就是比其他人更不適應當下的社會。教育可以改變慣性。
(6) 人人都有些難處,不要以為自己經歷的最困難。
(7, 10) 憤怒生於對自己無能的挫折。
(8) 老師可以宣告對每一個學生的喜愛,接受當下他的各種不完美,並且喜愛他學習的意願與潛能。
(9, 11) 訓練學生在每一個小細節自己推自己吧。
(12) 的確很多人格上的優點都伴隨著一體兩面的缺點,隨然有些缺點就真的只是缺點。
(13, 14, 16) 輕微的、經過後天努力已經克服先天困難的,一般痛恨被貼標籤,怕被人歧視是殘障;而自認永遠無法正常化的則渴望標籤,當成殘障通行症一樣領取優待。
(15) 70% 的腦前葉比半杯水還值得慶幸,何必就這樣放棄?
(17) 學生體會老師的痛苦,老師體會學習障礙學生的痛苦,就沒那麼多事情了。

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